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A Tourist Guide to Bangalore’s Traffic Jams

Bangalore – India’s IT Capital, is also India’s Traffic Jam Capital. A very proud moment for Bangaloreans everywhere, especially those who are reading this while being stuck atop the Central Silk Board flyover.

For starters, please note, the most well known language in Bangalore is not Kannada or Hindi, but C++ and Python. You are more likely to get a response from someone by writing out  cout<<“What is this?” to them rather than asking them, “Yeh Kya Hai?”

Another important point to remember is that public buses are operated by BMTC and not Infosys or Wipro. You may see more buses with the Infosys or Wipro logo atop them, but do not board them.

The most well known company in Bangalore is Ola Cabs. Ola is well known for having pioneered the concept of ‘Personalised Service’.  Ola created the concept of Ola Money keeping in mind the special needs of most Bangaloreans who were frustrated with BMTC conductors not giving them change and thus figured that they were happier with the money in an Ola prepaid account where spare change would have more value. Of course, thanks to Bangalore’s keenness to become another Beijing in terms of the length of its traffic jam, Ola got down to truly serving its customers. Today, Ola Money can be used to buy food, gifts and what not. Order food, and watch your driver heat it up and hand it over to you. There are rumours that an app is being developed that will allow you to pay beggars using Ola Money as well.

Of course, Begging is now a far more lucrative occupation than ever before in Bangalore. Thanks to Traffic Jams, beggars have more clients to engage with, who cannot run away, or  in this case, drive away. They now have comfortable rest spaces next to cars. They can actually spend the night without worrying about being driven over.

Depending on which part of the city you are stuck in, you can see various delightful scenes from the comfort of your car, or bike or the discomfort of your autorickshaw. Autorickshaw meters in the city are smart. They work only on the basis of the traffic jams.

Since it is now Winter, you can be the founder of your own clothing startup in Bangalore! You can knit fancy winterwear, hire an app developer, whom you can find around you, to develop an app to find customers in the vicinity, sell you wares and receive seed funding, all, without moving an inch from your current position.

<!—-More to follow soon –>

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Dhakkanz.com

Founder-Owner at Dhakkanz.com
Rishie is the founder-owner of Dhakkanz.com. He has varied interests, ranging Humor to Finance and to Technology. He is an avid follower of anything related to Mobile. Internet. and Technology
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